In the spirit of celebrating holidays obnoxiously early, allow CW to present this creepy twitching spider for your Halloween decorations.

This 36-inch spider lamp rests on your floor and slowly twitches and moves just subtly enough to send any arachnophobes you may know running in panic.   As an added bonus, each leg contains a row of lights that will shine for 1,000 hours … which is pretty much every Halloween for the rest of your life.

[Hammacher - $69.95]

via Boing Boing gadgets

Here at CW we love all things obnoxiously oversized.

So if you have our love for large pieces of furniture, and are a lover of office supplies (and who isn’t?) spruce up your closet and coat rack with these paperclip hangers.

[The Coat Hanger Company - ~$12.30]

Consumer Whore will not be updating for an entire week.

Don’t call us.  We’ll call you.

In third grade you handed off notes with check boxes.  Now that you’re older, you may have to class it up a bit with Madebygirl’s four 5 1/4″ x 5 1/4″ cards that you can use to distribute to your lover(s).

Or frame it for a semi-ironic photo underneath your wedding picture.

[Madebygirl - $2.50]

Long before Barack Obama was the messiah, he was just a lowly candidate for Illinois State Senate.

Show everyone that you were there first with his ‘96 campaign t-shirt.

[Homage Clothing - $32]

via Josh Spear

There are custom coffee cups and custom T-shirts, but nothing is cooler than custom shoes.

For less than the price of designer shows shoes, you can have your own unique pair of Keds.

[Zazzle - $50.00 to $60.0]

via CrunchGear 

In case the life of your goldfish wasn’t miserable enough, half his total living space while doubling the stylishness of your wall with the mounted fish bowl.

The bowl is a foot in diameter, and has a small hole for cleaning and, you know, feeding your fish.

[Chimpfeet - $21.21]

via This Next

While it may not look like much, the above clock can be fashioned to be any size you like, such as, your entire wall.  The only catch is that the hands are not extendable and measure 45 and 50 cm (roughly 17 and 19 inches).  Conceivably, if you paint the wall behind the clock there are no limits to the designs you could implement.

The numbers are self adhesive for easy instillation, and the clock comes from England (a.k.a. land of the worst exchange rate ever).

[WhereDidYouBuyThat - ~$68.84]

When you are stocking your kitchen, skip the plain Walmart utensils and go for something a little more … loud.

This set of seven utensils takes the most boring part of anyone’s kitchen and gives it a more Woodstock-y twist.  And for around the same price as your typical set, you can’t go wrong.

[Chiasso - $32]

That calendar in the picture above?  It’s not made of paper. It’s actually written directly on the wall using special chalkboard paint.

While it only comes in a handful of colors, a crafty painter (and Marta Stewart living reader) can mix with regular paint to create any color.  The paint is available in a handful of places, but Consumer Whore is pretty sure you have a Target nearby.  The paint covers up to 125 square feet.

[Target - $14.99]